Our inner storms

We are suddenly woken up when it happens to face one of our inner storms. Then, we become aware of many things that we had not seen before. It is time to stop. It is time to think, to grow internally, and to take important decisions.

If we look back to our personal story, we can see that a great part of it has developed in an orderly way, without too many surprises, or incidents, that could have changed the direction of our lives.

Usually, we let us go ourselves, accepting life as it comes, making our navigation unconscious.

In other moments, we are at the helm of our ship and try to bring it into port, safely.

From time to time, however, people irrupt into our life, or decide to run away from it. Also, we have to face new experiences, or unexpected situations that can shake our soul, forcing us to see the world from another perspective. When this happens, it may be convenient to revise some of our past, reinforce our present and look at the future from a different point of view.

Many people would like to enjoy a peaceful and predictable living, with a lack of troubles.

Some individuals seem to follow a script, without major changes, the same being gradual and moderate, until the end of their days.

Other, have difficult and hazardous lives. It seems they cannot have a calmed and predetermined existence. From time to time, they need elements that contribute to verify the course they are taking.

Long before the big storms arrive, some small incidents may take place, purpose of which, is to warn us to take the reins of our own life, straighten certain aspects, or open new paths. But we are not interested to see these signs, not even the alarm risks. We want to ignore them, or we just make some temporary changes, in order to continue in our own way.

Later on, in spite of our loss of sight and lack of attention, there will appear strong shakings, in order to wake us up, force us to change our mind and make us to grow up. These are big inner storms that can be triggered by positive, nice and wonderful elements; or, by other painful, sad, distressing, or frustrating happenings. Very often, it seems to be a combination of both. They move us with such power that we cannot remain impassive towards them, starting many changes inside us.

…this storm isn't something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm…

And once the storm is over you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about.”

Haruki Murakami, “Kafka on the Shore”

What to do when we are confronted to situations, events and emotions which mean a revolution in our lives, seem to exceed us, and move us deeply?

It is not recommended to fight against these internal storms. As well as the external ones, they will come to an end. We can do nothing to stop them.

While the events are developing, we should look how to take care of ourselves and realize what is happening.

Then, step by step, without knowing when or how, we begin to feel better. We examine our lives from a new approach, which leads us to a better understanding of both, our past and our present. We use our strengths, our skills and knowledge to develop plans and projects for the present and for the future.

When we cannot change a situation, we must accept it as it is, or change ourselves.

“Calm comes after the storm". Without any doubt, a new time will arrive. A new and peaceful period for our lives will appear, much more quiet, with a greater depth and richness. Until new challenges, events and people will move again our existence. Will they be favorable winds for sailing? Shall strong movements correct again the course of our life? We will see!

  

To speak, or to remain silent

Sometimes, we do not know whether to speak or whether we should remain silent. To make our decision, we will consider the situation, the moment and our interlocutor.

This message helped me to develop the basic idea of this article: to speak, or to remain silent:

"If you swallow everything you are feeling you shall be overwhelmed by grief, at the end. It is much better that you express, or canalize it, someway”.

We are continually learning new things, and trying to "unlearn" others; modifying our behavior, according to circumstances, knowledge and experiences. As always, it seems certain that virtue is at the mean.

Sometimes, we might decide to keep quiet, preserving our privacy, and not communicating to others what we think, or feel.

During some stages of our life, or in some situations, we tend to silence many things. That is not good at all. We don’t talk about what makes us worry. We don’t deliberately decide to do this. We keep silence because we are afraid to speak or reveal what happens to us. Maybe, we don’t have enough self-confidence, or we doubt if people will understand and listen to us, really.

We accumulate everything inside us; what we feel, what happens to us, what we want: our fears, our doubts. We are like a bomb ready to explode. There are too many emotions and thoughts. We feel confused and paralyzed. We go around the same things, one day and another. We need serenity to understand what happens to us, and try to find solutions to our difficulties.

We should learn how to express what we are thinking and what we feel.  Sometimes, we don’t have things clear. We should take our time to clarify the ideas and to calm ourselves. We must be very careful when talking to others, in order to avoid that they may get confused because of our words.

Usually, we move to the opposite extreme. This happens, when expressing all kind of feelings to the others, without any limit; as we think that they understand and know us, very well. Mistakenly, we believe that we can freely express all our thoughts and the feelings of our hearts to them. We hardly see that, perhaps, they are not the best persons to talk about what is happening to us; or that it is not a good moment to have an enough formal conversation.

While there is confusion in us, it would be better to write for ourselves what we need to express. This would help us to clarify our doubts and concerns. Then, we can decide whether it is wise to talk to the other person. Thus, we avoid the danger to let the other person to discover the feelings of our hearts, unnecessarily.

Another way to drive the feelings and the thoughts that we may have is to engage ourselves in activities that we enjoy, that make us feel useful, productive and creative.

This is a short text written from the Spanish one: “Hablar o callar”. To see the Spanish version go to this link:

http://undiaconilusion.blogspot.com.es/2015/06/hablar-o-callar.html

Este es un texto corto en inglés escrito desde el texto en español: “Hablar o callar”. Para acceder al texto en español, accede al siguiente link:

http://undiaconilusion.blogspot.com.es/2015/06/hablar-o-callar.html