Emotional immaturity: most basic features

A few weeks ago, one friend of mine asked to me about the most important signs that would help us to discover immaturity in a person. I will summarize here some of them.

Emotional immaturity implies an ingenuous and intolerant perspective with regard to certain situations of life. Especially, towards what is a challenge, which is uncomfortable and what is negative. Those who have not developed an adequate degree of maturity have difficulties with suffering, frustration and uncertainty. They show a very poor self-control and self-discipline.

People that are not strong toward suffering will give up easily when there are difficulties, and will do very little to solve their own problems. They are accustomed that someone else will do what they need, so they do not develop their own skills to take care of themselves. As they are always seeking for pleasure, but they do not tolerate what it may be unpleasant, they have a big risk of addiction.

People that have a low tolerance to frustration, usually think that life goes around them. They are egocentric and feel very bad when things do not develop as they would like. They seem to be little children that do not understand the fact that we may lose, sometimes; and that we cannot do anything to change that. All we can do is to accept what has happened in order to continue with our lives. It is difficult for them to realize that they are not able to control the rest of the people.

Other manifestation of immaturity it is to have an illusion of permanence. Believing they will always have the person who gives them all what they need, close to them, the one who solves their problems and save them from their own fears. It is very difficult to let go people that are important for them. They do not accept the changes that become in a relationship, so they rigidly want things as they were. And, that is impossible. Everything is continuously changing, the same that happens with all of us.

To read it in the Spanish blog, please, go to the above link:

Para leerlo en el blog en español, por favor, accede al siguiente enlace:

http://undiaconilusion.blogspot.com.es/2016/03/inmadurez-emocional-identificacion-de_31.html

When are we emotionally dependent?

We can say that we are emotionally dependent when two of our most important elements to reach our happiness, which are the sense of security and the sense of worth, are at the mercy of others' love, attention and approval.

Also, when we stop to find what makes us enjoy our life, gives us security and self-esteem. When our world becomes smaller and when we think that all we need is what someone else gives us. When we do not have confidence in ourselves, in our own capability to obtain a great part of what we could need.

In the case we decide to depend upon other people, we are, in some way, giving up our love and respect to ourselves, as well as too many other elements that are part of our inner essence. We do all that kind of things in order to stay near them, to continue receiving what those people give us. At the same time, we stop developing aptitudes and abilities that could help us to be less dependent, paradoxically.

Emotional dependency is an addiction and it is difficult to get rid of it. Sometimes, we do not even recognize it as being something wrong, because it is much extended in society. Many of the songs we hear, a great deal of the movies we see, a lot of the books we read, as well as the education that we have received, seem to tell us that real love must be dependent to be a good one. No matter if it is toward parents, family, our partner or a friend.

It is not wrong to want something very much. But, it is a mistake to make it indispensable. The problem is when we are not capable to give up, and we continue with our relationship, instead. Even, if everything indicates we should go away, or take distance.

Unfortunately, many people believe that it is not worth living, should they not have the attention, the love or approval of someone to whom they are attached. They feel really bad when others go away or seem to be distant. It is then, when they suffer something similar to an abstinence syndrome.

Para verlo en el blog en español:

http://undiaconilusion.blogspot.com.es/2016/03/cuando-somos-emocionalmente-dependientes.html