We can say that we are emotionally dependent
when two of our most important elements to reach our happiness, which are
the sense of security and the sense of worth, are at the mercy of others' love,
attention and approval.
Also, when we stop to find what makes us enjoy our
life, gives us security and self-esteem. When our world becomes smaller and
when we think that all we need is what someone else gives us. When we do not have
confidence in ourselves, in our own capability to obtain a great part of what
we could need.
In the case we decide to depend upon other
people, we are, in some way, giving up our love and respect to ourselves, as
well as too many other elements that are part of our inner essence. We do all that
kind of things in order to stay near them, to continue receiving what those
people give us. At the same time, we stop developing aptitudes and abilities
that could help us to be less dependent, paradoxically.
Emotional dependency is an addiction and it is
difficult to get rid of it. Sometimes, we do not even recognize it as being
something wrong, because it is much extended in society. Many of the songs we
hear, a great deal of the movies we see, a lot of the books we read, as well as
the education that we have received, seem to tell us that real love must be
dependent to be a good one. No matter if it is toward parents, family, our
partner or a friend.
It is not wrong to want something very much. But,
it is a mistake to make it indispensable. The problem is when we are not
capable to give up, and we continue with our relationship, instead. Even, if
everything indicates we should go away, or take distance.
Unfortunately, many people believe that it is not
worth living, should they not have the attention, the love or approval of
someone to whom they are attached. They feel really bad when others go away or
seem to be distant. It is then, when they suffer something similar to an
abstinence syndrome.
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